Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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