ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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