listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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