The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
