He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
