I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
