i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
