one might say we're banned from that church
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
