doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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