I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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