Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
