Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
