I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
