There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
