After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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