last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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