Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize