Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
All I want is dick and wine.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize