Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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