there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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