i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Randomize
