i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
