So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
