that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
bring money and cleavage
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I need water and some morals
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
