I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
