; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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