Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
