Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
my sisters under your porch take her home
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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