Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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