I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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