Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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