i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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