you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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