Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
