I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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