I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Damn victory sex feels great
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
