dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
