Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize