I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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