I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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