but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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