Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
