At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
