There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
