sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
