I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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