have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
