i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize