Where did you get a picture of my penis
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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