you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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