OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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