I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
