redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
