Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize