these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
