I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
