I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
