Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
