If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
