Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
