weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think your dad took our porno
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
