our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
