You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
