Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
wow bdsm is so cute
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize