Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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